The Story Of A Rubbish Heap/So You Want To Stop the Flooding

Right after the shiny new Prime Minister was sworn in, she thrust herself into 'tall boots' and accosted the flooded areas - threatening bodily harm to the waters that endangered the citizenry. I'm sure she said a few things, too - but lets face it. There's just something about puddles and flood waters that makes you want to splash around in it. If you can get political leverage, even better.

But enough about the Prime Minister. She's not the focus of this issue - these flood waters are. Flooding is what happens when water goes into an area faster than it gets out. In soil heavy in clay, it's not easily absorbed into the aquifer. It sits around in the clay. Intelligent people thought that drainage would be a good plan. It still would be a good plan. Nevermind that the box drains built have no horizontal support at the top and cave in over time. Nevermind that people litter and the litter ends up in the drains, enough so to keep water from running out of an area fast enough. Nevermind that people do their own thing, without Town and Country approval (as corrupt as T&C allegedly is) and are supported by their MPs because they want the votes so that they can leech the public a little longer. Nevermind all of that.

Instead, I'll tell the story of the rubbish heap above. It's something my father tried talking to Chandresh Sharma about before the PNM returned to power. I tried, but somehow those emails never made it through. You see, the rubbish heap is a symptom - and it happens to be on my land. So in the early 00s, my father tried tackling the problem by antagonizing the people who were doing it. When I took over after his death, I stopped people in person from dumping there. Why were they dumping rubbish there? Because the rubbish trucks weren't picking up their rubbish.

I worked with the farmers who built a gate across the road on my land (upgraded without land owner permission under the UNC, I might add). And something funny happened. The rubbish heap continued. A fellow that goes by 'Thunder Maharajh', some nephew of Ramesh Lawrence Maharajh (or so he says), was getting paid by the now dead Chippy of Chippy Tyres to burn off the tyres - so he burned them there. I spoke with Chippy about it. That stopped. But the tires were there because the landfills wouldn't take them and there was no method for them to be recycled. So Chippy found somewhere else to place them and that was all I needed to know. We ended up being friends, actually.

Oh. Where are people supposed to get rid of these tyres?

So the gate is in place, the tires aren't there, things should stop - right? Wrong. The farmers continued to throw rubbish there. Why? Because the rubbish trucks weren't picking up their rubbish.

Are we sensing a pattern here? I know I am. I realize I'm not an MP or Minister of Local Government or anything, but I see the solution to the rubbish heap. It requires rubbish trucks picking people's rubbish up regularly. Is that hard? Apparently it is. Sure, you can call the police - but that means you have to watch 24 hours a day so you can witness the dumping. And maybe when you call the police they'll show up. Maybe.

In retrospect, I probably should have talked to Primus. A lot of other people in the constituency have and they got results. I think my father and I simply screwed up in thinking we were trying to talk to the right people.

Now, fortunately, this rubbish heap isn't in an area that allows it to occlude drainage - but the M2 Ring Road has plenty of spots where the same thing happens in areas that occlude drainage.

So the first step would probably be to assure that the rubbish trucks... pick up the rubbish, like they get paid to. Hold them accountable. That sort of thing. Of course, that means holding everyone accountable. Which Minister is responsible for that? Or is it the MP of a constituency? I'm unclear. We'll put it to the Prime Minister and she can direct traffic.

Speaking of which, in less intellectually challenged nations, garbage trucks run at hours that don't create a traffic problem. There's nothing like getting stuck on a road behind a garbage truck when you're going for lunch. Hopefully your air conditioner is working or you get the appetizing scent of ripened rubbish in the sweltering tropical sun.

The beauty of step one? You're already paying these people to do the job. Just make them do it right. No additional money required.

The second step isn't too far removed from the first. I recall as a young man going to Presentation College, San Fernando, that I would walk up and down High Street and use a contraption that apparently has since been abandoned. They are called dustbins, or for those of you who require a more technical explanation, receptacles for what would otherwise be called litter. Those seem to have disappeared for oh... a decade. A decade. They were missing under the UNC, they were missing under the PNM. I don't know when they were abducted by aliens.

Dustbins! If we place dustbins in places, people will - hold your breath - use them. Which means drains are less likely to become occluded. Which reduces the risks for flooding.

The bad news is that this will cost some money. I don't know how much. But I do know that dustbins, placed properly, will allow the non-litterers a place to toss their litter. And you remember step one? Right. Someone has to empty the dustbins regularly. Maybe the people who ride around in those rubbish trucks could handle that? Just a thought...

Step 3 is relatively cheap. Litter laws are enforced - you need the dustbins first - by the police, wandering aimlessly with a shrubbery escort and enough automatic weapons to warrant an invasion by the United States. When a constable with an MP5 and two shrubs armed with M-16s tell you, "Pick it up and throw it in the bin", even a convicted murderer might pay attention.

In less than a year, water will run more freely. Of course, you'll have to clean the drains - perhaps a Minister of Local Government could handle that through CEPEP or URP - and assure that they are properly cleared. The Ministry of Works could probably jump in with some heavy equipment. And what does the Trinidad and Tobago Defence Force do all day? When I was a Corpsman stationed with the Marines, we spent a lot of time digging holes. Maybe the TTDF could just have their soldiers dig holes in places we want them to - unless they are too busy playing bodyguard to the Police. 

And then, you get into people building houses wherever they want without Town and Country permission, without landowner permission (be it government or private landowner), without sense... but on the platform we were told that no houses were going to be taken down. So dig the drains around them. And if they flood... well, lets hope the houses float. Right?

 Right.